This is what happened when I went to renew my overdue book at my school's library. I have a friend whom I've been stalking for a couple semesters now and she's stalking me...so it is a mutual stalkership and we also greet each other as such. We are always joking how the other person is following us around or knows where we've been.
Me: "Hey Stalker,"
Me: "You really need to quite following me you know,"
Stalker: "Um, hello, I'm not following you if I work here...you are following me."
Me: "Oh, I guess that is true..."
Stalker: "Hey, my Stalker wants your help."
Librarian: "What can I do for you hun?"
Me: "So, I have a library book that I'm pretty sure is overdue and I was wondering if I could renew it because I'm in the middle of writing a research paper on it..."
Librarian: "Sure thing, let me check your account..."
Librarian: "There you go! It'll be due back in 2 weeks."
Me: "I don't have to pay anything?"
Librarian: "Nope, I erased all your fines because you hang out with seedy people."
Isn't that great? I have stalker connections and it pays in the end. Although, I think my book was overdue by 1 or 2 days...so it wasn't crazy overdue or anything.