Some of the things I think/say while working with small children. Italics are obviously in my head.
"Hey, it's okay, your mommy is just in church...she's going to be back in a bit, don't you want to play with the trains?"
"Oh man, why do you have colored snot? That's gross. Now I have to get you a tissue. Oooorrrr you can just wipe your face on my shirt. That eliminates the whole mucus problem because it isn't in on your face anymore. Well, I guess this shirt is going into the laundry when I get home. Thanks, anytime you don't have the time to wait for a tissue, just use my shirt/arm/leg/shoe, really, I don't mind one bit."
"Don't hit her. Go over and say you're sorry. We don't hit people because that's not nice. Do you want to go to time-out?"
"Drat, now he's smiling. It is so hard to discipline a child who's doing something bad when he just looks so cute. Argh, I can't smile because then he will know I'm not serious and he won't listen and he'll think he can get away with that kind of behavior...don't smile...don't smile..."
"Yeah, you...uh huh, I'm talking to you bud. You don't have to look shocked, I saw you shove him. You think your innocent little face will prove you not guilty? Nope, it won't."
Yeah, I love kids...but some times they frustrate me/make me laugh. It's funny how you can be mad at them one minute for completely disobeying everything you've told them and then they are hugging you and saying, "sorwy" and you can't help but think of them as angelic. Funny that.