Thursday, August 5, 2010


I have a thing about lipstick.

Really, I can't stand the feel of lipstick on my lips. It has something to do with repressed childhood memories, but I won't get into any of that. I don't like anything on my lips: lip gloss, lipstick, and even...chapstick. I almost have a phobia about this.

I've finally gotten to the point where I can wear chapstick when my lips are dry and on the verge of bleeding, because I know that is the only thing that will save them...but even then, it is a battle.

So why am I mentioning all of this? Well, the other day I noticed that my lips were a little dry...but I ignored them, because that's the type of person I am and I like to be delusional and convince myself that I'm paranoid and leave matters unsettled. Well, the next morning I woke up and my lips were completely chapped and stinging. Great.

So I had to find some chapstick. Okay, here's the deal. I own 3 bottles of chapstick. All of them are organic. (I kind of have a thing for organics. And hey, I don't want Red dye #3 hanging out on my lips. Um, gross.) So I pull out organic chapstick #1. There's nothing left.

That's okay, I'll just find organic chapstick #2 which also includes spf 15 sunscreen. I can't get the lid off so I pull harder and the complete top of my chapstick just goes flying across the room. Now, this is the part where germaphobics should stop reading. Even though it had fallen on the floor and I didn't know how clean it was, I was desperate for something to put on my stinging and about to fall of my face I brushed it off and blew on it (because blowing on imbedded-into-the-chapstick Dust Particles will do any good. uh huh.) and used the extreme last of my supply.

I needed to break into my stash of organic chapstick #3. But it was nowhere to be found. I'm not sure where it meandered off to, but it is somewhere in my room and I have little hope of finding it.

The moral of the story: I have no chapstick. I don't EVER use chapstick. And who on earth gets chapped lips in 90 degree weather in August? Really?

Seriously, I only own 3 chapsticks and all of them are unavailable.

As a side note, do you know how unlikely it is that walmart carries organic chapstick? Very unlikely.

Man, I need to buy some more chapstick.

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha, that's awesome! Er, I mean it's not awesome, but it was hilarious. Why is it that whenever you really need something, it's nowhere to be found? I don't understand.