Kleptomania

You probably didn't know this...but I'm a kleptomaniac. I steal. All the time.

Really.

Not in the way you'd imagine though. I steal words. Phrases. Odd gestures. Weird mannerisms. Funky personality traits.

I think I do this compulsively because I'm a Writer and I'm always picking up things that I can work into my writing. That's why people fascinate me so much. I love people-watching. I also love how people talk, what they say, what riles them up. It's great.

Today for example, I saw a flustered mom who had a handful of children who were misbehaving. I was trying to remain inconspicuous because I was already feeling like she was going to be embarrassed by her son's outburst. But I almost lost my composure and smiled when she exasperatedly said,

"I'm fixin' to hang you on a clothesline."

I had never heard someone say that before and I loved it. So of course I'm stealing it. I'm adding it to my bag of trademark phrases and southern sayings.