Gee whiz...

I went to my school's graduation ceremony this morning. I knew a lot of people that were graduating and I thought it would be nice to see them off and say goodbye/take pictures with them. I'm going to miss them. And I'm surprised that I haven't really cried that much at all. But probably because I keep shoving my emotions down and saying, "It's not like it's going to be forever, gee whiz."

I'm keeping positive. And it helps that some of the graduates are staying around town for a little bit this summer. I can still hang out with them, even though they won't be in my classes next semester.

I do not even want to think about what a wreck I will be when I graduate in a couple of years. Basket-case. That's all I have to say.

~Currently humming in my head
Oh, Happiness by David Crowder Band

My to-read list.

So, forgive the crummy picture (I took it with my webcam) but this is my to-read pile. Pretty much all of these books are ones that I won in Goodreads Giveaways and have not gotten a chance to read because I'm been fiendishly busy doing schoolwork. But now that it is summer I am going to read all of these and write reviews. I'm excited. I've also put a lot of books on hold at the library. So I'm going to intersperse these ARCs with other novels I've been meaning to read and hopefully I should be completely updated with all my ARCs and have review for all of them. That is my plan.

I'm free!!!!

Normally, I frown upon using excessive exclamation points to convey moods. But I thought I'd make an exception because I just finished my last final and I am now done with school.

I felt like it was cause for celebration and grammatical abundance.

My first two years of college: complete. I am now a junior. Summer has started. I can read so many books. I can take over the world. I can write poetry without the judgmental glances of homework. I can sleep in late. Yeah man. I'm kind of excited.

Plus, I know so many people who aren't going far away for the summer. So I can actually hang out with people. This is great.

~currently humming:
Free At Last by dcTalk

Mourning...

I'm in a weird mood.

I feel like I've gone through so many different emotions these past couple of weeks. I just don't know what to feel sometimes. I'm strung-out. But I just got back from a party. We watched a movie at the end. There were only a few of us left to watch Bright Star, but we took an empty classroom and couches and pillows and made ourselves a little den.

I don't know how I feel about that movie. I cried. I liked the imagery. But I don't know if I will ever be in love with it.

After I drove home, I got our of my car and heard the wind. It was roaring. I could imagine the swirls of its rhythm in the dark night sky.

I was in such a mood. I stopped and closed my eyes. Letting the wind fill my thoughts. The sounds reminded me of the ocean. I was pulled into mourning, not knowing what I had lost. Every time I opened my eyes I could feel something tugging at the corner of my mind, trying to remind me of something I had lost. I felt swept away by the tides of the wind.

I wanted to write.

Oh, one more thing....

This is just a little factoid about how much of a crazy book fiend I am. You know how your browser likes to be handy and fills in the rest of the website when you go to type up something in the little window thingy? Well, when I just put in the letter "G" the first website that comes up is Goodreads. Yeah, I visit it more than Google. That's dedication right there....or obsession. Whichever.

Finally!

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Just a little note....

Stress is going to eat my soul.

And then I shall be a soul-less wanderer.

So there's that.

You probably won't see me...

Because everything in the world is due Thursday/Friday. Okay, so that might be a slight exaggeration, but everything major is due. A Creative Writing final notebook, an Art class final notebook, a final art project, and 1 Jane Austen research paper. This is why I have not be blogging lately, because I've been swamped with this crazy stuff. I feel like my head is going to explode.

What really bugs me is when I have these moments of inspiration, where I think to myself, "Hey, I can do this. I just have to manage my time wisely and really, how long will it take me to do such and such? Probably only 4 hours - so that means..." and I catalog my entire week with all my projects done and room to spare. And instead of going off and starting something, I procrastinate because I have so much time. And the other thing I do? Completely freak out and go around yelling there's no time. Both of these situations are not good for me. So I need to stop being a sluff and get some more work done.

This is the end as we know it....this is the end - to quote Relient K.

I am so intimidated by my final art project that's due in less than 2 weeks. I'm not an art major. I'm an English major. I have an art minor...but it is photography. Why am I in this class? Because I want to die, obviously.

On a completely different train of thought...
Eating breakfast is a good thing. Skipping breakfast and then drinking questionably flavored peach punch before eating lunch is not a good thing. This will result in a headache.

food headache + art project headache = throbbing head.

In the future, I need to plan better.

Seriously.

Also, I'm obviously loosing it because as the semester has progressed I've gotten more and more delusional and absent-minded. This is not good for my mental sanity or for the people I call friends.

I'm losing the ability to speak coherently. My words blur together and I feel my brain turning into mush. I don't think it is a good idea to store mush in your head. Once school gets out I will be able to relax. Maybe. I have to get a job.

Yum, chicken.

Which family member is my favorite?

The one who comes home with fried chicken.

Haha, nepotism!

~currently humming:
Awake and Alive by Skillet

M-I-S-S-M-E...all you want...

Hey blog world, I'm back from the dead....and when I say dead, I mean maniacal paper writing. Now I have a slight breather...but not really because I have other homework that wants to eat my life.

So that is a majorly quick update on my life. I fell asleep listening to my favorite new soundtrack....you guessed, WTWTA.

Okay, now I have to run some errands.

~Currently listening to:
Haunted Horse by Neon Horse

Eyelashes

Do you ever pull on your eyelashes and accidently pull a couple out? My eyelashes are kind of crazy and they like to poke me in the eye, so I will occasionally straighten them with my fingers, and sometimes I pull out a few.

Well, I just pulled out six. SIX! That freaks me out. Am I going to have any eyelashes left? What if I pulled out six eyelashes a day? Are my eyelashes completely unbalanced now? Do I have some kind of eyelash deficiency disease?

These are the kinds of questions I will be asking myself now that I've just pulled half my eyelashes out.

Gee whiz.

Paper cuts...

I tried to pick up a stack of papers yesterday. It didn't work. I sliced my finger open and it started bleeding. It kind of stung that night, but I figured that a good night's rest would cure it, right? I mean, hanging out, not having to do anything for about 7 hours, with no bandaid or annoying restrictions, it should have healed. Fresh air is good for wounds, so I've heard.

The next morning it hurt. When I washed my hands it felt like I was reopening the wound. When I cut up strawberries for breakfast, I accidently leaked strawberry juice on it and that made it angry. When I picked up anything with my right hand it was unhappy and throbbed.

Basically, this paper cut was being a nuisance.

Also, I keep poking it, hoping that it will have healed...but I'm starting to get the idea that's not helping. Funny that.

~listening to:
Forget and Not Slow Down by Relient K

Funny that...

I remember a time when I didn't cry during movies. Seriously, I never shed a tear. I could watch the saddest movie on the planet and come out unscathed.

I don't know what happened. But somewhere in my middle teen years I became a movie crier. This amuses my sister greatly, who thinks it's humorous when I have tears streaking down my face at the end of a movie.

If I see anyone on screen crying, I start to cry. The good thing is that my face is fairly forgiving and I don't look like a major freak right after crying...it clears up pretty fast.

But still, I always cry during sad movies.

So, what brought this up? I just peeked upstairs to see what the rest of the family was doing and they were watching the end of Finding Neverland. Of course I stayed. Of course I started crying as soon as Freddie Highmore shed a couple of tears. Duh.

Oh well...but now I must be on to write some more of that paper.

Annoyed.

I am such a dweeb.

I avoid doing things even though I know FULLY WELL I'll regret not doing them earlier.

Like this paper, for instance.

I like pretending it does not exist.

But I have to get it done this weekend. And I've been avoiding working on it all day. If I don't finish it tomorrow I will be one big bottle of stress and that is never a good thing.

Also, because I'm in such a great mood everything I play in my iTunes library sounds sub-par and I can't keep still. I keep skipping to the next song, rotating CDs because nothing suits my mood. This is exceedingly annoying.

But now, I am going to pick out quotes for my paper and maybe do an outline. That way I can tell myself, "just write this paragraph and then you can take a break..."

I really want some chocolate.